I have been re-watching Sex And The City for the past two weeks, and by watching, I mean binge-watching in a slightly unhealthy manner. In the way that Netflix pops up with the “Are you still watching?” prompt type of way.
While Carrie Bradshaw initially makes it clear, our brands are oh so similar: sex positivity, humor, femininity, all with a good cocktail in hand; she embraces the culture of non-monogamy or of moving to the next man when things go slightly wrong because why waste precious time?
As I continue watching the show into the fifth season (as of the end of last week), I’ve started to notice a few things that aged the show in an unflattering light.
The first one is self-explanatory, and while I can understand the cultural nuance of the times, this one hurts deep within. I noticed early on a need for more character diversity. Most BIPOC characters were extras or hospitality workers. *internal AND EXTERNAL screams* The lack of BIPOC male partners for all four characters, Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda, is pretty appalling. As someone who grew up with a wide variety of male and female characters to love, it is excruciating watching a show that completely ignores entire races as being attractive, loving, and respectful partners. At the same time, they fantasize about subpar white men?
My second, more nuanced observation is how glaringly obvious the character played by Sarah Jessica Parker, Carrie, makes it that she simply uses and does not truly accept gay characters. While I grew up in the ultra-Christian ‘cult’ that many of us Midwesterners experienced- it’s still shocking that this supposedly open-minded, loving New Yorker, that has good friends who are homosexual- cringes at the sight of affection shown between two men who are lovers or dating. Carrie ignores the depth of Stanford Blatch's character, consistently shutting him out of conversations in order to complain about her own, apparently, more important heterosexual issues. Considering the original audience in the late 90’s, it seems like a harmful way the writers and actresses were forced to make concessions in their portrayal of the times. One more *internal scream* and hard cringe every time I witness the characters judge or give the side eye during a homosexual embrace of affection.
It’s not just the gay characters like her "Gay BFF" Stanford; as you may well notice, Carrie shuts down and gives dirty looks to one other more sex-positive character, Samantha, as well. Which leads me to the subsequent complaint I have as a millennial re-watching Sex and the City in 2024, why the hell do they all have so much internalized misogyny?
The show is for women, yet we are somehow being constantly led to believe that other women hate each other and are competing against each other. I can’t name a woman outside the immediate cast who is not somehow villainized as bad, crazy, or an outsider?
But is there any season worse than season five? The show previously glamorized Carrie’s pre-pregnancy body through the male gaze shots of her bare stomach- now, in season five, where the actual person- Sarah Jessica Parker was pregnant- they cover her in less fashionable clothing- attempting to conceal the truth. At the same time, Carrie and the group of girlfriends ignore the fact that their close friend, Miranda, is struggling with new motherhood, acting as if she is just a whining brainless copy of all the “breeders” they have built their show on hating in previous seasons. More *internal screams*, we all wanted to hug Miranda throughout her early motherhood with baby Brady- I’m sure…….
One more personal grievance- accompanied by more *internal and external screams*, is the amount of poor treatment and, quite frankly, ABUSE Carrie is taking from her boyfriend, Berger, in season five. The writers fall short of labeling that and other relationships for what they are: ABUSE. Berger is a failed writer- opposed to Carrie’s successful writing career. I am screaming at my TV as he screams at Carrie because she shared her feelings and fear when he recklessly drives them to an event on his motorcycle. Bitch- RED FLAGS!
Then he immediately claims he doesn’t want to be that guy. Like this happened overnight bud, she made you into this guy? By the end of episode six, Carrie begins to ask herself- "Am I to blame? Am I the drama?"
All of her bad relationships, and Carrie finally starts to question her own shortcomings and choices- which is fine- I am all for self-awareness- but don’t you dare start blaming yourself and subsequently pushing the narrative that women who have been abused are somehow to blame for their abusers’ actions. This narrative is untrue, and dangerous. The patriarchal attack on women throughout history is that they should sit down, accepting the blame and shame related to the pain they experience in relationships. (Look into attachment theory, it explains way more than I can in this short blog.)
Finally, here’s a disclaimer that probably should have been placed at the beginning - I am only on season five, episode six- and I have watched this show once wholly through. I am no Sex and the City Scientist; I am a woman who grew up in a conservative area of the Midwest- so yes, I am more shocked about the fact I could easily pick out how poorly this show aged- outside of Carrie's outfits of course- than I have solutions for writers to avoid such catastrophic aging in their own writings.
Overall, I appreciate this show- mostly the outfits in seasons 1-3- but also as a timepiece- displaying cultural norms that have thankfully changed and others which are more widely accepted.
Comments