Wine and Women+
witten by: A. Eiser
A. Eiser of 'Plonk and Pleasure' writes a compelling three part series about the nuanced wine world, that historically leaves out women. With her knowledge, the writer shows us how to beat the patriarchal systems within the wine world, to discover more wines to love.
If you saw the last blog, you already know we’re fighting a battle against historical misogyny in wine culture. I’ve already told you that you should drink whatever you like and never apologize for it. But let’s dive a little deeper; the shame and insecurity doesn’t end just because I told you that it should. There are too many people, especially women+, who like to drink wine but are scared to talk about it. I understand–the patriarchy is historically skilled at scaring us into silence. They’ve created a ‘wine world’ with terminology that ‘normal people’ don’t encounter in their everyday lives. It can be a little intimidating to talk about wine if you don’t know some of the basic lingo, but you don’t have to know what the word ‘tannin’ means to know that Cabernet Sauvignon makes your mouth feel dry. It’s possible to discuss your experience without knowing any wine buzzwords. Babe, you have a mouth, tastebuds, and a beautiful brain–don’t let somebody make you feel like you don’t know what your own body experiences when you take a sip of wine.
You don’t have to know the secret language of the boys’ club to discuss wine–you can use whatever words you're comfortable with and your thoughts will still hold inherent merit because you’re a beautiful human being with worth. Though, let’s be honest, life sure is a little bit easier when you’re in the know. How about I do you a solid and teach you some basics so you can feel more comfortable going forward? Let’s speedrun some wine buzzwords so you can feel confident assessing and discussing whatever plonk you’re sipping. Conveniently, I’m going to relay the information in the exact order that the Wine School Education Trust teaches students to follow when they’re assessing a glass of wine for its qualities. To quote a misogynist who talked down to me once at a wine tasting, “It’s how the professionals do it.”
Dry
When we’re talking about wines, dry is simply the opposite of sweet. Most wines are dry wines. As much as your opinion matters, unfortunately, this is one of those places where your opinion matters a little bit less and science matters a little bit more. If you don’t sip wine often, you might mistakenly classify most wines as being sweet because they’re made with fruit; inherently there’s basically always some perceptible level of sweetness. Ultimately, the sweetness of a wine is determined by the presence of sugar–not your personal palate. There are sweet wines, off-dry wines, and then there’s dry wines. To put it simply, off-dry (sometimes you’ll hear people say ‘medium’ instead) defines the middle ground between sweet and dry wines. If you go out to dinner and order a glass of wine, likely most wines on the menu will be dry wines. However, when we talk about locally produced bottles, there’s many bottles produced locally that are sweet or off-dry. It would seem that local consumers prefer more sweetness in their wines–not me, but, you know, other people buying wine, I guess.
Local examples: Two EE’s 2020 Pinot Noir = dry, Plonque red blend = sweet, Barreja = off-dry.
Acid
I find it helpful to think about ‘acidity’ in terms of thirst-quenchingness. Acid is important in wine because it’s what gives it a refreshing characteristic. It makes your mouth water and balances the sweetness. So, a high acid wine will be more refreshing than a wine with low acidity. Fun fact: high acid wines are very food friendly. They tend to pair well with acidic foods, like tomato sauces or citrus fruits, but they also can match up fantastically with really creamy foods, as the acidity is able to cut through the richness. Salty foods will actually make a high acid wine seem less acidic, but also less bitter, when paired together. Good champagne and french fries are an ideal pairing–but cheap champagne and french fries works alright, too, due to the saltiness of the fries.
Local examples: Country Heritage Frontenac Gris = high acid dry white, LaCrescent = high acid off-dry white, Catawba = high acid off-dry rosé
Tannin
Tannins come up pretty much exclusively when we’re talking about red wine. Tannins are those little buggers that make your mouth feel dry when you sip a wine. If you drink tea regularly, you probably feel familiar with the effect tannins have on your mouth. If you don’t have a benchmark for what tannins feel like, I have a fun little exercise that you can do. (It’s not that fun: so manage your expectations.) Get a red grape–or a black grape. (When we talk about grapes in wine, it’s always black or white.) Once you have your correctly colored grape, I want you to peel the skin away from the juicy, pulpy interior of the fruit. Then, I want you to eat just the skin. Tannins are located in the skin of grapes, so eating just the skin will isolate the tannic effect. Warning: your mouth will feel dry. So, the next time you’re sipping a big red wine, try to focus on that tannic feeling in your mouth. Not to be gross: but if the red wine makes your spit weird and stringy, it’s probably got high tannins.
Local examples: Two EE’s 2019 Tannat or the 2016 Proprietor’s Reserve from Country Heritage
Alcohol
Of course wine has alcohol in it. The ABV (alcohol by volume) of most still wines runs from 11.5% to 14%–though there are always outliers. Right now, we’re just talking about regular ol’ wine, though you should probably know there is such a thing as fortified wine. Fortified wines will have even higher alcohol because additional alcohol is added to them during production. Well known examples of fortified wines are Port and Sherry. When it comes to regular, un-fortified wines, you can typically tell if a wine is high in alcohol by reading the label on the bottle or simply by taste. A high alcohol wine may provide a subtle burning sensation in your mouth. Unless you’re a sadist, don’t pair high alcohol wines with spicy food: the heat of the food will amplify the alcohol burn and the alcohol of the wine will amplify the spicy burn of the food. From personal experience, I can assure you, it’s not pleasant–but, if you’re somebody who learns best from personal experience, go for it.
Local example: Country Heritage’s 2017 Petit Verdot, rocking in at 15% ABV.
Body
If you had water in your mouth, you wouldn’t mistake it for cream–and vice versa, of course. Not only is the flavor different, but the textures are at different ends of the spectrum. A wine that feels more like water would be considered ‘light body,’ whereas a wine that has a mouthfeel more similar to cream would be a ‘full body’ wine.
Local examples: Two EE’s 2020 Touriga Nacional = full-bodied red wine and Cranberry Riesling from Country Heritage = light-bodied blush.
"I believe in you. So, get out there and drink some wine–but maybe get to know it a little bit, first."
So, if you’re wanting to genuinely assess a wine’s qualities, or if you’re just trying to flex on a misogynist in the same way they’ve flexed on us for millenia–follow these simple steps. Take your glass of wine. Observe it–whether or not you’re actually assessing the color is inconsequential–you can scare all the straight white men just by letting them think you might know more about wine than they do. Give the wine a gentle swirl in the glass–this is done to incorporate oxygen and wake up the aromas of the wine–like a genie that’s been trapped in a bottle, your wine has been trapped in a bottle, too. Let it out and let it come to life. Then sniff it. You do the sniffing stuff before ever sipping from the glass: because you don’t want your mouth smells (not a personal attack–everybody’s got mouth smells) to be present on the glass when you’re trying to smell the wine. We’ll get into smells and tastes in the next blog post–and then you’ll be a real stunner at this step. Finally, you actually taste the wine. You consider how it tastes, in terms of flavors, and you run through your newly learned list of vocab words in order: dryness, acidity, tannins, alcohol, and body. That’s how you assess a wine. It’s hard–but not that hard, really. With practice, it becomes less and less difficult. I believe in you. So, get out there and drink some wine–but maybe get to know it a little bit, first.
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